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Saturday, April 21, 2012

Practice Self Confidence

Confidence is a tool you can use in your everyday life to do all kinds of cool stuff, not least to stop second-guessing yourself, manage your fears and become able to do more of the things that really matter to you.
But not many people realise that their self-confidence works just like a muscle – it grows in response to the level of performance required of it.  Either you use it or you lose it.  That’s why I’ve given you 63 ways to grow your confidence so that you can become a giant.
  • Get out of your own head by asking your partner or best friend what you can do for them today.
  • Go to a networking event and focus on how you can be helpful to other people rather than being nervous about your own stuff.
  • Get crystal clear on the things that truly matter to you.  If they’re not in your life, you need to bring them in.
  • Write a list of the things you’re tolerating and putting up with in your life, then write down how you can remove, minimize or diminish each one.
  • Look at a great win or success you've experienced and give yourself credit for your part in it.  Recognizing your achievements is not egotistical, it’s healthy.
  • Next time you’re at a social event, don’t just stick with the people you know – go and have a conversation with someone you don’t know and you never know what – or who – you’ll discover.
  • Do one thing each day that makes you smile (on the inside or on the outside).
  • Look for the patterns of thought that take you to a place where you start second-guessing or over-thinking.  Now imagine that your best friend went through exactly the same thought process and ended up holding themselves back – what would you want to say to them?
  • You have to keep your mind well fed, so write a list of 20 things that keeps your mind feeling nourished and make sure you’re giving them room in your life.
  • Stop playing different roles and squeezing yourself into boxes based on what you think people expect you to act like.
  • Learn to catch yourself every single time you tell yourself that you can’t have, won’t get or aren't good enough to get what you want.
  • Take yourself off auto-pilot – make deliberate decisions on what really matters to you.
  • Scared of looking silly? You and everyone else.  It’s no biggie so don’t let it stop you.  Say it with me – “It just doesn't matter.
  • Don’t think for a second that you can’t be confident.  There are already loads of things you do with natural self-confidence, you just have to notice them and get familiar with how it feels.  Look for the things you do where the question of whether you’re confident enough never arises.
  • Listen to your doubts but be ready to make deliberate decisions once you've heard them.  Sometimes your doubts are there to let you know what you need to prepare for, so you can use them to your benefit as you move forwards.
  • You’ve got a whole bunch of out-dated rules that determine what you do, don’t do, should do and shouldn’t do.  These rules limit your thinking and limit your behaviour.  Tear up your rule book and notice how free you are to make great decisions.
  • If you’d already done everything in life you’d have no need to be scared.  Don’t ever think that being scared means you’re not confident, it simply means you’re going somewhere new.
  • If there’s someone in your life who puts you down or makes you feel small, you owe it to yourself to let them know that you expect something different from now on.  You deserve better.
  • Acknowledge and welcome all of your experiences – the good stuff as well as the bad stuff.  It’s all equally valid and hiding things away because you don’t like them is just creating conflict.
  • Don’t get swept up in the drama of what’s happening right now, look for more useful ways of engaging with what happens in your life.
  • Confidence sometimes means admitting you’re wrong – always be ready to hold your hands up and change your mind.
  • Trust your instincts.  They know what they’re talking about.
  • Fear is a way of letting you know that you’re about to stretch yourself and grow your confidence.  That’s a good thing, so use it to take yourself forwards rather than run away.
  • Forget the pro’s and con’s – do something bold in the face of your challenges and fears.
  • Work on developing the skills you need to win at the things that matter to you.  What can you practice that would radically improve your chances of winning?
  • The body is a mirror for the mind, so shifting your body into a confident state can have surprising results.
  • Don’t get disheartened or de-motivated when you get to 90% with something you’re working on – push through and you’ll see that the last 10% is where the magic happens.
  • Keep comparing yourself to others?  Stop it, don’t try to validate yourself through comparison – you’re just peachy as you are.
  • Shy with new people?  Not a problem, there’s nothing wrong with being shy and it doesn't mean you’re not confident.  Just don’t over think it, start beating yourself up or thinking you’re less than because you’re shy – the more you think like that the worse it gets.
  • Your strengths can be used to overcome any of your weaknesses.  We all have weaknesses but they only undermine your confidence if you let them.
  • Being confident is an ongoing process.  It isn't a goal or an end-point that you reach and then stop.  Keep playing to the best of your ability and your confidence will always be there to support you.
  • Look at the people you respect who seem confident – don’t copy them, but identify what it is they do differently that conveys confidence and what you can learn from it.

Saturday, April 7, 2012

Public Speaking & Voice Modulation


Public speaking is not just opening your mouth with a few gestures to convey emotions. Your voice should be pleasant to the ears of the audiences so that they would be interested in listening to what you have to say.
Part of the improvement as a public speaker is improvement of your speaking voice. Your voice is the best tool in public speaking. Without your voice, you would be able to deliver a single speech because you will never be heard. Your voice allows you to communicate to your audiences, convey ideas and even solicit emotions and reactions because of your compelling speech.
You have to slowly improve the quality of your voice as this will help you became an efficient speaker. A good sounding voice can easily attract audience and the message gets across faster.
  • Breathe from your diaphragm – Practice long and controlled exhales. When you speak, use breath to punctuate your point. For example, take a breath at the end of each phrase whether you need to or not. Use that opportunity to pause and let the listeners absorb what you say.
  • Use pitch – Lower pitches generally are more soothing to hear. However, modulating your pitch for emphasis will keep your listeners engaged. Develop your pitch by practicing humming.
  • Moderate your volume – Find out if you speak too loudly or too softly. When you begin speaking, ask your audience how your volume is (each situation is different). Try to stay at the appropriate volume throughout your speech.
  • Moderate your pace – This one is also closely related to breath. If you speak too quickly, people can’t keep up. If you speak too slowly, people will lose interest. Record your speech to determine if you need to change your pace. Get feedback from others.
  • Articulate – Try exaggerating your lip movement to reduce mumbling. Practice articulating tongue twisters and extending and exaggerating vowel sounds. Become an expert at articulating tongue twisters as quickly and crisply as possible. Focus on the ones you find difficult.
  • Practice your speech in advance and determine where you want to pause for a breath. For more emphasis, pause for more than one breath. Mark your breathing points in your notes.
  • Loosen up before you begin. Look side to side. Roll your head in half-circles and roll your shoulders back. Shift your rib cage from side to side. Yawn. Stretch. Touch your toes while completely relaxing your upper body, then slowly stand up, one vertebra at a time, raising your head last. Repeat as needed.
  • Posture – Stand up straight and tall to allow full lung capacity and airflow.
  • Record your voice repeatedly using different ways of speaking. Determine which one is most pleasing.
  • Practice breath control – Take a deep breath, and while you exhale, count to 10 (or recite the months or days of the week). Try gradually increasing your volume as you count, using your abdominal muscles—not your throat—for volume. Don’t let your larynx tense up.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Over Coming Stage Fear

Have you always wanted to perform on stage -- but been too scared to do it? It seems you are getting stage fright. Once you get onto the stage, it seems your brain stops working. You stutter, forget your lines, or sometimes, just start laughing or shake all over, and your voice quivers. There is a way to overcome these reactions.
  1. Know your stuff! The best thing you can do is to be overwhelmingly, thoroughly, and completely prepared and in mastery of your material. Much of the fear comes from wondering if you will make a mistake, or if the audience will know more than you. There is one sure way to beat that and that is by knowing your material inside and out.
  2. Focus on getting through the first five minutes. That is where the problem lies. Rarely do you see someone who seems fearful all the way through his or her presentation. Most of us settle in and get comfortable after a while. Don’t look at it as a fifty-minute speech. Look at it as a five-minute speech.
  3. Breathe! Fear is a bodily reflex and one that you can overcome. When you get afraid, you start to breathe in short, fast breaths. Before you speak, or while you are being introduced, you should sit quietly and breathe slow, deep breaths.
  4. Tell yourself that the world won’t fall apart if you do a rotten job. Even professional speaker sometimes, I don’t do as well as I want to. People usually appreciate it anyway and you’ll keep right on going.
  5. Understand that you are your own worst critic. Most people aren't going to come to your presentation with the goal of picking you apart. So you shouldn't pick yourself apart either.
  6. Understand that most of the people in the audience would be scared to death to give a speech too, and are glad that it is you and not them!
  7. Make ‘em laugh. That is the best way to start with a crowd. It is not necessary that joke has to be related t your presentation topic. A laugh always settles the crowd in and they and you both become more relaxed because all of you laughed together. 

    Sunday, December 25, 2011

    Being Assertive

    Standing up for your rights and not being taken advantage of is one definition of being assertive. It also means communicating what you really want in a clear fashion, respecting your own rights and feelings and the rights and feelings of others. Assertion is an honest and appropriate expression of one's feelings, opinions, and needs. Whereas, being aggressive means standing up for yourself in ways that violate the rights of others.
    There is very thin line between Being Assertive & Being Aggressive. Aggressive behavior is typically punishing, hostile, blaming, and demanding. It can involve threats, name-calling, and even actual physical contact. It can also involve sarcasm, catty comments, gossip and "slips of the tongue." Assertion is an honest and appropriate expression of one's feelings, opinions, and needs, whereas, being aggressive means standing up for yourself in ways that violate the rights of others.
    There is a myth among people that being assertive is very difficult to achieve. It does take self-analysis and practice but it worth the effort put in.
    Most people are not assertive for fear of displeasing others and of not being liked. However, although you may avoid some immediate unpleasantness by not being assertive, you could also jeopardize the relationship in the long run if you refuse to assert yourself and then feel taken advantage of over and over again.

    Here are some ways that can help you become more Assertive in life:
    • Respect both yourself and the other person (or people) involved
    • . It all starts here. This is the foundation. Respect of everyone is necessary.
    • Think before you act: Whenever you are asked for a favor stop and think about it first. Put in mind that you are not obligated to do it and that if it goes against your interests then you must say NO. This may not be as easy as it sounds but as the time passes you will get used to it and it will become an easy task.
    • Stand up for your rights without being aggressive: Whenever you find that your rights are being violated stand up for them. For example if someone took your turn in a queue then talk to him immediately and tell him/her.
    • Always begin with a disarming statement. Whenever, you start an Assertive conversation try to be understanding and considerate. You use some of these guidelines:
      • Compliment the other person. But then again, the compliment must be sincere. E.g. “Thank you.” , “You really mean a lot to me” or “Thank you for your advice or “Thank you for your opinion” etc.
      • Apologize for any part of anything you may have done wrong or apologize that the person took offense to something you have done. E.g. “I’m sorry” or “I’m sorry. I really messed up this time” or “I’m really sorry you took offense at what I said (or did).
      • Agree with the person. E.g. “You’re right….”, “I can see why you would say that” or “That makes sense.
      • Acknowledge their thoughts and/or feelings. Everybody wants to be understood. This one shows the person that you are talking to that they are understood. E.g. “I can see that you are really frustrated” or “I can see that you are very upset about this.” or “I can see that this makes you sad.”
    • Use I statements to sound more assertive: Always speak for yourself rather than speaking in general. This also shows how confident you are. For example " I can’t concentrate while that noise is present" not “we” or "I don't want to go for a walk now, I prefer to do something else."
    • Overcome shyness. Shyness can range from healthy to overwhelming and debilitating. Shyness is not the same as having low self esteem. Many shy people have a very positive image of themselves, but they lack assertiveness and confidence. So if you are shy try to Practice speeches in front of a mirror or with trusted friends will help you gain the confidence you need. Positively visualize situations and circumstances before experiencing them.
    • Speak up with confidence even if you don't feel confident. Practice speaking this way. The more you practice the more it will become second nature. First and foremost, you must believe in yourself and your abilities
    Being confident and assertive can enable you to achieve your goals with ease, whatever they may be.



    Sunday, November 20, 2011

    Extempore Speech Tips


    The extempore speech, this is a part of selection procedure where a candidate is given a topic and asked to speak about it for a minute or two. 
    A topic is given and the candidate is expected to speak about the topic for anything between 1- 3 minutes. In some instances, the panel provides the candidate with about a minute or so to organize his/her thoughts before speaking. In other cases, you will be expected to start speaking about the topic as soon the topic is announced. 
    He is not allowed to ‘prepare’ for this topic, but has to speak on the spot. Thus, he cannot prepare the content and decide what to say beforehand.
    What is tested during an Extempore?
    Firstly, your ability to think on the spot and your spontaneity. It has often been seen that candidates come with prepared answers for the interview, which they have mugged up. Thus these answers do not really reflect their thoughts or the kind of people they are. Hence, an extempore may be used, as you cannot prepare a speech beforehand in this case. Your ability to express your thoughts: In an extempore, you have to think for a very short while and then express yourself. You will be judged on how well you are able to do so. Fluency in the language: Your comfort level with English as a language can also be assessed.
    Body language/ Confidence: Your body language and Confidence levels may be judged. Many candidates feel very nervous about this round. Does your nervousness manifest itself in your gestures and expressions? Or do you appear calm and collected despite everything? Can you express yourself confidently and clearly?

    What You Should Do in an Extempore
    Firstly, do not get nervous! It has been observed that many candidates get freaked out and are very sacred about the extempore round, as you cannot prepare beforehand and have no idea as to which topic you may get. However, remember that you have to only speak on the topic for a minute or two-you are not expected to get into a high level of detail, or show some astounding knowledge about the topic given to you.
     Do not start off speaking as soon as the topic is given to you. You have a few seconds to think-use them! It has also been observed that those who start off immediately, run out of ideas and don’t know what to say. Thus they end up finishing their speech in hardly 20-25seconds, or even less, in some cases.
    Most importantly, structure your speech. Try and give it an introduction, a body and a conclusion. It would be highly impressive if you can structure your talk well, even though you were given only a few seconds to think about it.
    You must buttress your points/ arguments with logic and examples. This is crucial and will help you stand out from the other candidates.
    Try to begin or end with a quote. If you can remember an appropriate quote and use it in the relevant context, it will be absolutely great. Once again, the ability to do such a thing at such short notice will enable you to stand out from the other candidates.
    How Should You Prepare for an Extempore?
    Make sure that you can speak for at least a minute on the following (make sure you have the content ready):
    •  Important current affairs topics
    • Important topics or issues pertaining to your academic background. For example, an engineer may be asked to speak on ‘electromagnetic induction’ as his extempore topic. Similarly, an Economics or Commerce graduate may be asked to speak on ‘The Fiscal Deficit’ or some related topic.
    • Your hobbies and interests
    •  A person you admire
    • Your favorite sports person or actor/ actress

    Practice for an extempore adequately, by speaking aloud, either in front of a mirror or even without one. The idea is that you should be able to speak, with a fair degree of fluency, for about a minute on any topic you get. Practicing speaking aloud with ensure that you are able to control your nervousness etc.
    Watch your body language while you practice. It should not give away your nervousness. Practice speaking both while sitting and standing, so that you are ready for both eventualities.

    Wednesday, November 16, 2011

    Importance of Good Writing Skills

    One is amazed to see the craze to learn English nowadays and also mushrooming of the institutions teaching Spoken English. These institutes claim to make you fluent in English in a matter of days. People spend good money to learn spoken English but fail to understand that written English is what required to excel in career and professional front. Unfortunately, there are no reservations with these institutes. 

    • Even uneducated people can learn to speak good English. But the highest level of job they can get will be a call center associate or retail counter clerk. Even in most call center jobs, a person should be able to write and record notes in English into computer in understandable manner. As you climb up the corporate ladder, your written English skills gain importance. 
    • Good writing skills are essential for professional growth. It is the core aspect while writing resumes, communicating with clients about products, building customer relationships etc.
    • Good writing is essential in sales as big clients prefer written proposals. Even while writing resumes, a clear and well written sentences highlighting your experience, qualities and character, will gain confidence of the recruiter.
    • A person who wants to speak English fluently should know that they must first have good command over written English. Once your written skills are good, automatically your verbal skills will be good.
    • Writing in English requires good knowledge about the grammar, vocabulary, and structure. A crystal clear, structured, and correct writing can effectively convey one’s thought to the reader. 
    • Effective written English helps to glide through ideas, feelings, and opinions without getting perplexed. 
    • Good writing reflects positive traits like self-confidence, clear thinking, analytical mind etc.
    • Writing properly makes you look intelligent and professional. It is also the mental organizational skills of the person which comes into picture at this stage. A person can effectively write when he has mental clarity about what exactly he has to convey.
    • Effective written English polishes and organizes your thinking process which makes you speak in better way. What person speaks is the manifestation of his thought process which develops due to writing.
    • Written English is beneficial while giving presentation as concepts, knowledge, future strategy etc. should be correctly written to make others understand. Suppose you are a team leader and asked to submit an action plan or a report about how to approach a project, then it is your writing skills that will help to present the report and gain confidence.
    • Speed of speaking is important in speaking English, while accuracy and clarity of thought is important in writing. Since ample time is there in writing that the quality standards are also high. Unless you have speech impediment, good written English skills almost automatically translates into good verbal skills.


    Much of professional communication is done in writing: proposals, memos, reports, applications, preliminary interviews, e-mails, and more are part of the daily life of a college student or successful graduate. Even if students manage to learn the material in their college classes without knowing how to write well, they won’t be able to express their knowledge to the people who are making the big decisions. Potential employers won’t know whether or not head knowledge can be applied to everyday demands unless it’s through a spoken interview. Even the majority of certifications and licensures require basic writing skills to obtain. The inability to write makes for a stillborn career.



    Friday, October 28, 2011

    Letter Writing Basics

    The art of writing a letter takes practice, knowledge about proper form and the ability to put into words your feelings, thoughts, and/or ideas. If you learn the basic parts of a letter, it will help you to create letters for a variety of occasions.
    Parts of the Letter:
    Your address
    At the top of your letter, you will put your address, so the reader will know where to send their reply to.
    Date
    Put the date on which the letter was written in the various format like DD/MM/YY 9th Oct 2011 or MM/DD/YY Oct 9, 2011. But DD/MM/YY is used more.
    Inside Address
    The inside address is only required for a business letter and will include the address of the person you are writing to along with the name of the recipient, their title and company name.
    The Greeting
    The greeting will address the individual that the letter is being sent to. This is usually completed in the form of "Dear Anne" or "Hey Anne", for less formal letters.
    The Introductory Paragraph
    The first paragraph and will generally outline the purpose for the letter and the reason that the letter is being sent. This can address any issues that are outstanding and is used to set the tone for the entire rest of the letter. In this first paragraph, the summary of the letter can be found and the intentions which will be displayed through the rest of the letter should be outlined. From the first paragraph of the letter, the introductory paragraph, the individual should be able to note the tone of the letter.
    The Body
    The body of the letter will expand upon the introductory paragraph and the individual can extend their thoughts and feelings further when it comes to the letter. The body of the letter can be anywhere from multiple pages for personal letters, to one page or two pages for most business letters and other types of proposals.
    The Closing
    In the closing of the letter, the individual will close the letter and finish any thoughts that have been mentioned. The closing of the letter comes in various forms from yours truly, for those individuals that are familiar with one another, to a traditional sincerely which is a versatile closing that can be used in a variety of letters detailing many situations.
    The Presentation of the Letter
    The presentation of the letter can be hand-written for less formal letters that are addressed to friends and family members, especially thank-you letters.


    Formal letters which are written on behalf of businesses to or professional contacts should remain typewritten and grammatical and spelling error free.