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Saturday, April 21, 2012

Practice Self Confidence

Confidence is a tool you can use in your everyday life to do all kinds of cool stuff, not least to stop second-guessing yourself, manage your fears and become able to do more of the things that really matter to you.
But not many people realise that their self-confidence works just like a muscle – it grows in response to the level of performance required of it.  Either you use it or you lose it.  That’s why I’ve given you 63 ways to grow your confidence so that you can become a giant.
  • Get out of your own head by asking your partner or best friend what you can do for them today.
  • Go to a networking event and focus on how you can be helpful to other people rather than being nervous about your own stuff.
  • Get crystal clear on the things that truly matter to you.  If they’re not in your life, you need to bring them in.
  • Write a list of the things you’re tolerating and putting up with in your life, then write down how you can remove, minimize or diminish each one.
  • Look at a great win or success you've experienced and give yourself credit for your part in it.  Recognizing your achievements is not egotistical, it’s healthy.
  • Next time you’re at a social event, don’t just stick with the people you know – go and have a conversation with someone you don’t know and you never know what – or who – you’ll discover.
  • Do one thing each day that makes you smile (on the inside or on the outside).
  • Look for the patterns of thought that take you to a place where you start second-guessing or over-thinking.  Now imagine that your best friend went through exactly the same thought process and ended up holding themselves back – what would you want to say to them?
  • You have to keep your mind well fed, so write a list of 20 things that keeps your mind feeling nourished and make sure you’re giving them room in your life.
  • Stop playing different roles and squeezing yourself into boxes based on what you think people expect you to act like.
  • Learn to catch yourself every single time you tell yourself that you can’t have, won’t get or aren't good enough to get what you want.
  • Take yourself off auto-pilot – make deliberate decisions on what really matters to you.
  • Scared of looking silly? You and everyone else.  It’s no biggie so don’t let it stop you.  Say it with me – “It just doesn't matter.
  • Don’t think for a second that you can’t be confident.  There are already loads of things you do with natural self-confidence, you just have to notice them and get familiar with how it feels.  Look for the things you do where the question of whether you’re confident enough never arises.
  • Listen to your doubts but be ready to make deliberate decisions once you've heard them.  Sometimes your doubts are there to let you know what you need to prepare for, so you can use them to your benefit as you move forwards.
  • You’ve got a whole bunch of out-dated rules that determine what you do, don’t do, should do and shouldn’t do.  These rules limit your thinking and limit your behaviour.  Tear up your rule book and notice how free you are to make great decisions.
  • If you’d already done everything in life you’d have no need to be scared.  Don’t ever think that being scared means you’re not confident, it simply means you’re going somewhere new.
  • If there’s someone in your life who puts you down or makes you feel small, you owe it to yourself to let them know that you expect something different from now on.  You deserve better.
  • Acknowledge and welcome all of your experiences – the good stuff as well as the bad stuff.  It’s all equally valid and hiding things away because you don’t like them is just creating conflict.
  • Don’t get swept up in the drama of what’s happening right now, look for more useful ways of engaging with what happens in your life.
  • Confidence sometimes means admitting you’re wrong – always be ready to hold your hands up and change your mind.
  • Trust your instincts.  They know what they’re talking about.
  • Fear is a way of letting you know that you’re about to stretch yourself and grow your confidence.  That’s a good thing, so use it to take yourself forwards rather than run away.
  • Forget the pro’s and con’s – do something bold in the face of your challenges and fears.
  • Work on developing the skills you need to win at the things that matter to you.  What can you practice that would radically improve your chances of winning?
  • The body is a mirror for the mind, so shifting your body into a confident state can have surprising results.
  • Don’t get disheartened or de-motivated when you get to 90% with something you’re working on – push through and you’ll see that the last 10% is where the magic happens.
  • Keep comparing yourself to others?  Stop it, don’t try to validate yourself through comparison – you’re just peachy as you are.
  • Shy with new people?  Not a problem, there’s nothing wrong with being shy and it doesn't mean you’re not confident.  Just don’t over think it, start beating yourself up or thinking you’re less than because you’re shy – the more you think like that the worse it gets.
  • Your strengths can be used to overcome any of your weaknesses.  We all have weaknesses but they only undermine your confidence if you let them.
  • Being confident is an ongoing process.  It isn't a goal or an end-point that you reach and then stop.  Keep playing to the best of your ability and your confidence will always be there to support you.
  • Look at the people you respect who seem confident – don’t copy them, but identify what it is they do differently that conveys confidence and what you can learn from it.

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